There you were, dancing.
I saw only your back at first.
Then a hint of your profile.
But even then I knew my search had found in you a fulfillment.
The long search.
The search I would abandon, and then realize that the search included abandonment.
There you were, dancing.
~ Peter McWilliams ~
I’ve spent hours trying to come up with a clever phrasing to convey what I’m thinking. It’s not working, so, I’m just gonna let it out…unglossed. People are looking for love. In fact, we were created for love, both to receive and to give away. It seems a lot of times though that we are so obsessed with finding love that we miss the love that is right under our noses.
As I read Peter McWilliams’ poem this morning, I was reminded of God’s love. Most of the time as humans we spend an inordinate amount of time looking for love. As I look around me, it is readily apparently that the majority of us don’t do a real good job of spotting what true and lasting love looks like. And so, we scurry from one place to another; always on the hunt; always on the prowl.
I was talking to a friend the other day and she told me that it was when she quit looking for that special someone that she actually found him. Interesting. In fact, I did a little bit of research on this phenominon my friend experienced and found her story to be true for a whole lot of people. And it made me wonder if perhaps we aren’t so obsessed with reading the map that we’ve forgotten about the destination.
For those of us who are believers and have experienced the love of God, often receiving that love means an abandonment of the search. In my own life I could never figure out God’s love. So simple and yet, because of man’s feeble attempt to define it, it became the hardest thing in the world to find. So I scrapped the search. It wasn’t until I said “enough, I’m through” that I discovered that all along Christ was right there…dancing. Full of joy, full of love, full of longing for one of His creatures who was having difficulty finding that love.
I tried a lot of different avenues, just like most of us. All of those left me feeling empty. When it seemed that true love, God’s love, was not to be found, I quit looking all together. Sometimes I think that is the best way for us to be able to see God’s love. We have to quit looking for it. Simply stop and begin to look at His creation. By abandoning the search for love, I was able to find the source of love. And it was then, that I saw Him dancing. Funny, He had been dancing there all the time, only I didn’t see it. Why? I think it was because I was too obsessed with the search.
Abandonment brings up awful thoughts for most people. For me though, abandonment meant leaving behind the struggle and relaxing in the love. When I saw Him dancing, I was able to start to dance myself. A life overflowing with joy, peace, happiness AND love! But not the love I thought I was looking for, rather a love that cuts across the years. A love born out by creation. A love brought to me by the death and resurrection of God’s son. A love that gives me life and life more abundantly.
Yeah, it was only through abandoning my own preconceived notions about love that I was able to see God. And He was right there, having the time of His life, waiting for me to join in. When I abandoned my search I found fulfillment! Amazing how that works!